Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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