help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
