OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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