420 ftw
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
