Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
