I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
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