just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
