Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
