how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
