there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
