This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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