cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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