She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
