Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
When did angry sex become our thing?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
