Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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