i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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