you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
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