You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
