Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
