But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
