Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
