next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
