Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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