she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize
