don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
