I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I look better un-naked...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
