I need help removing her.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
