"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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