Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
