Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
