This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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