the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
