worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
