went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
