what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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