I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
