i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
