dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just want to make out with him forever
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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