And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
