why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
