That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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