I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
