He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
