I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
