DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
