I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
