The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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