she woke up with a sticky ear
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
