If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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