There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
